Monday, April 25, 2011

How to talk to someone you fancy on Facebook:

Hail friends and family! So my first blog went well… with 181 VIEWS!! OMG!

-Bows dramatically to the computer screen-

Oh your applause is well deserved. However, your support has given me the desire to write something else… about stalking people on Facebook!

-Rereads title-

I mean… ‘Talking’ to someone you fancy on Facebook. HA what was I thinking? It has come to my attention that some people seem to hold the inability to talk to the opposite sex in the way of ‘flirting’… and on the computer! I can imagine them in person… oh though rather not.

But don’t worry… don’t freak… everyone is like that at some point in their life. All it takes it practice, practice and… you guessed it… ice-cream.

So never fear, I am here now to ease your troubles. These 10 easy to follow points will hopefully give you some idea.  

1. Be confident – Confidence is the key ingredient to any good flirt. And flirting is the beginning to any good relationship… that’s right isn’t it…. You know that I am telling the truth. Oh, you’re trying to deny it? Well… YOU’RE WRONG… and I am right. Deal with it.

2. Be yourself – Probably the most important point here... Been yourself with the person you are talking to will help prevent any problems in the future… All to often I experience the heart break that people feel when they find out that “MR PERFECT” isn’t really that perfect after all. Instead they were only this alter-ego that they had created in order to get the girl they wanted… Well I have news for you boys… Girls, you see, they like to talk… mainly about boys. You get a bad reputation with one… The chances of you dating anyone in her ‘group’ have significantly dropped. Same goes for the girls… but if the guy finds you attractive enough he will probably get you anyway…

3. Jokes – Laugh and join in with their jokes… if they talk about Guard-Grizzly bears, you come back with Guard-Grizzly Bears wearing snorkels because you live in a Submarine… Use your imagination people like that kind of thing. However don’t over do it. This could freak them out.

4. Subtle – Subtly is a very important thing. Though BEWARE there is a line between subtle and… nothing. You do have to give the occasional winks, smiles, clich├ęs… etc. etc. If you do not understand the basic idea behind this you are either a complete fail of a romantic... confused OR a male.

5. Agree with everything – ok when I say ‘everything’ I don’t mean ‘EVERYTHING’ ok! I am not saying: “march out that door and go to their house because they asked you too”… So don’t put words in my mouth, you hear! What I am saying is if they say they like unicorns… YOU BETTER LIKE UNICORNS! Really not that difficult now is it… Good.

6. Ramble on about stuff that makes no sense – much like the early point about submarines and Grizzly bears wearing snorkels… These ramblings can get you out of any situation… When you are lost for words, make something up. Hint for this: Think of an animal, object and place… combine them and say something like “Hey, imagine what would happen is a Kangaroo with bubbles went to China…” this will hopefully create laughs… if not you’re talking to someone with no personality and they are obviously not worth the time and effort and your complete and utter amazingness… Oh sorry I will stop talking about myself.

7. Use big words – either he/she or you will set a standard of language used in the conversation. Reading helps in this case… Large words with deep meanings can help portray information on a deeper scale… Shakespeareain is always useful… though make sure you actually know what you’re talking about. Hint: use your thesaurus. This point helps when the person you are talking to is older then you… you HAVE to act mature! Hint: Write some poems in your spare time. This will allow you to give all your words a second meaning… don’t write a poem about the person your interested in and give it to them… that’s just weird.

8. Try to avoid saying how hot they are – try and wait for the other person to make that move… if neither are responding slip in a SUBTLE hint that is flattering and funny. Try and make it relevant to the conversation drop little hints about how cute/pretty/handsome/amazing/beautiful they are… this takes a little practice and I don’t recommend that you start this with only a little experience.

9. Act generally interested in what they are saying – This point will go a long way when trying to learn more about the person that your interested in. The opposite sex, you may realize talks a lot about nothing that is of any interest to the mind that you reside in. Ok girls… when talking to boys try and avoid topics on shoes and makeup. Boys… try and not talk about your dicks and shooting things… that’s always a good start. The quicker you find a mutual topic of discussion, the better your chances.

10. Getting a phone number – Oh, the finial step to successfully start talking to your love interest. This part is easy. Normally it works better if you are the one that is leaving, but don’t stress it works either way. If you are leaving: “Ah no. I gtg to work/study, any chance I can have your number incase I get bored?” you got to ‘pretty’ this up a little with compliments and what not. If the other person is leaving, the sentence is generally reversed: “Hey I’ll give you my number and you can text me if you get bored?” You may have noticed that the person who is leaving holds the power… so if you feel the other person is about to leave… step in first. Or when they say “gtg” say you have to go too, and use the above line.

So y’all, hope this helps. I know that certain people out there will appreciate my advice given here… SO HOW ABOUT YOU SHOW IT AND COMMENT ONCE IN A WHILE…

-Death stares computer-

Ok so I may be feeling a little unappreciated. But really comment, or message me and tell me how my advice helped… or didn’t because there is a chance that it wont.

Catch you all later,
Bella Solus